The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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