planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
