Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
