Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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