So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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