i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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