I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
