a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
