We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
