My pussy is not your playground.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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