so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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