Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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