My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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