i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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