He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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