Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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