wakey wakey hands off snakey
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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