Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
