i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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