The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
