I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
