Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
