At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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