i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
