That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
