Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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