Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize