so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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