we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
