6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
