I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I understand Curling. That high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
