He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize