Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
