You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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