You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
