the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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