There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
