i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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