She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
