we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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