I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
