ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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