hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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