1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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