I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
