I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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