She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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