I'm jealous of your bromance
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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