Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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