So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
