it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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