im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize