I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
