I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
