Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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