Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
