You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
