I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
