Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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