Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
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Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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