It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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