watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
