VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
