Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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