It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
