At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize